EP Review: I Exist Because You Say So by Hana Eid
Review by Angelina Singer
Evocative and atmospheric, this debut EP by Hana Eid is a bold mix of uncertainty and surety, a dichotomizing view of life itself in the gaps between now and later, cognizant of artists like boygenius and Phoebe Bridgers. After dabbling in guitar playing since she was a starry-eyed 8-year-old in Nashville with dreams bigger than she could properly explain without a song, she was well on her way. From her 20-year-old point of view in I Exist Because You Say So, she’s got big plans – and this alternative rock debut EP is the first step on a long journey of loving others and leaving people better than she found them through catchy tunes and intriguing lyrics.
The EP begins with the angsty yet ethereal “Weird” that opens with stripped down vocals before a muddy guitar jumps onto the scene with a subtle drum beat and a whole lot of hindsight. Lyrics like“Second guessing, second guessing myself all the time / counting out my footsteps as I walk a tight line…” show the heartbeat of this song – the uncertainty in the moment and the frustration as time passes. It’s a bit of an anti-love song in the sense that she’s talking about the things she would’ve wanted different in her past relationship. The song ends in an explosion of a full band that still feels like being stuck in a memory due to its foggy instrumentation keeping the listener lost in a dream that never came to fruition. “I want you to think about me / is that weird to say” brings in the title track in a smooth, rather understated fashion that is thought-provoking and powerful toward the end of the song.
From there, Hana Eid brings listeners onto her next track. The provocative “Taller Than Me” is bound to ruffle some feathers, but it’s likely one of her most vulnerable songs. Once again, a muddy bass guitar colors the space against clear, crisp vocals depicting a small age gap romance of three years. I especially enjoyed the way the chorus opened up into an arena-sized moment that was so raw and real in a satisfying moment of clarity. “And I f*cking want you with conviction / swear you’ll hear it if you just stop and listen” is so poetic and a beautiful slant rhyme that hits all the right notes. Then she makes a very jarring proclamation in the second verse: “I never felt like I’d graduate college / filling up space with useless knowledge ‘bout Jesus Christ / I don’t give a f*ck unless you’re still religious from when you were young”. While I recognize the importance of an artist’s agency to share their honest feelings unfiltered (and will always support that freedom), I am compelled to admit that this statement could be very polarizing to listeners (which may not be a bad thing, depending on the artist’s intentions). Although I’m also not religious, I have witnessed the goodness and love of Jesus Christ for myself and can only hope the artist finds that same comfort in her life as well.
“Between Your Teeth” is the middle of the EP, alongside “Pitbull” – and both songs are characterized by gritty moments that are less romanticized than the previous songs. Where “Between Your Teeth” is still a broad brushstroke on the poetic canvas that’s portraying a love story in crisis, the next song is much tougher – and for good reasons. The artist has been through a lot, but she’s still going forward in life. “I wanted you to be scared of me” is a lyric that fits beautifully in “Pitbull” because it’s the metaphor of being tough on the outside while sweet and delicate on the inside. I especially love the wacky chord progressions in this song that break away from the typical diatonic structures.
“Avoid the News” introduces the last third of the EP, with a space-y intro that launches into a stripped-down verse until the song rapidly adds layers and builds on itself quickly. The message is to think for yourself and recognize that not everything is what it seems — and that’s perfectly okay. With neo-jazzy chords and nuances, this song blends the best that alternative rock and other adjacent genres have to offer.
Finally, rounding out this sonically-rich experience is “Austin Song” – a more chilled-out acoustic track that outlines what an ideal love relationship might look like to the artist. However, she’s still struggling with her emotions: “how can I get happy in these conditions / the cancer inside me won’t turn to remission”. I enjoyed the subtle additions of café-cognizant ambient conversations mixed into the background of the track – another way to make this song feel like a dream. In the middle of the song, the mix gradually thickens, with the addition of dramatic sound effects that further create an ethereal experience. This might be the saddest song on the EP, and it also continues with its calling-out of religion by comparing herself to a “sacrificial lamb”. It’s another biblical allusion that is understandable if she’s been hurt by people who weaponize their religion – same as the above song “Taller Than Me”. I do hope she finds peace though – because there are still people with good hearts in the world ready to embrace every part of her journey.
This EP is a very accurate foray into the coming-of-age brain and all the changes it goes through while falling in (or out) of love. You can listen to I Exist Because You Say So by Hana Eid on Spotify, available now.